14Feb’16

I have no idea

   What real love is

        Other than 

                                       Family..

____________________________________________________

Saw many red&white heart-shaped balloons hanging out of cars..

Bouquet shops with hugeeee crowd… 

Is there something goin’ on today ? 

0:00

There are times when you cry to know you’re alive. There are times when you feel so unworthy and useless. There are times when you feel yourself burden, standing in the dark, all alone, out of the miseries you created on your own. I’ve stood there many times, well aware that there’s no time. I look around with an impractical hope to make people like me, to get their love,affection, to get along with something that I’m not.
.

 Well, it’s 0:00.
If You’re under a 30 degree hot shower, and your heart still feels cold; my dear, you’ve lost yourself.  Lost yourself in a world that is no longer, was never yours. It’s the state of mind that looking in the mirror makes you feel dizzy. You work so hard, but fail so much. It’s hard to breathe. You’re terrified to be alone. The head, that’s so loud. The eyes, they burn. You don’t feel first, but always forgotten.

But then, Who am I ? No seriously. Who am I ? Who even are you? Do you really know the person you look everyday in the mirror? 

What puts me into a really pathetic situation of figuring out who actually i am, leads to uncountable parts of me which are defined as “moods”. But then I realise those “moods” aren’t really moods, it’s me. How can I be a cry baby on something I may be totally right about. How I can be a total bitch on something I may be totally wrong about. Pretty complicated, I know. Since when was understanding people an easy job??   Oh well well,, I’ve often been described as the “split personality” “self-absorbed” but it totally makes me scream at the top of my voice without making sound, but then, this is where I end.
————————————————————

Ps- sorry for something really creepy written out of pure frustration.

Amiss

Never trust a mirror,

For a mirror always lies,

It makes you think that all your worth,

Can be seen from the outside.

Never trust a mirror,

It only shows you what’s skin deep,

You can’t see how your eyelids flutter,

When you’re drifting off to sleep.

It doesn’t shows you what the world sees,

When you’re only being you,

Or how your eyes just light up,

When you’re loving what you do.

It doesn’t capture when you’re smiling,

Where no one else can see,

And your reflection cannot tell you,

Everything you mean to me.

Never trust a mirror,

For if only shows your skin,

And if you think that it dictates your worth,

It’s the time you looked within.

.

           ~ Harshita

 { A flower doesn’t dream of the bee. It blossoms and the bee comes. } 

There’s still some hope

You tell me that you’re hopeless,

You want your life less than your death,

But if you jumped into a pool right now,

I know you’d hold your breath.

So I know that it’s not hopeless,

But that your hope’s just hard to find,

And if I showed you all you can become,

I know you’d change your mind.

You might have hit rock bottom,

But it’s the perfect place to start,

Where the only thing that you can hear,

Is the beating of your heart.

You have to almost lose it,

To remember what you’ve had,

And that there’s been a share of good times,

Mixed in between the bad.

So don’t wait for the ending,

Until your last breath starts to leave,

Before you finally remember,

How much you like to breathe.

.

         Love and hate

             ~ Harshita

                            Ps: (Stop being tormented by everyone’s reaction to you)

(.)

We say we love flowers, 

     Yet we pluck them.
We say we love trees,

     Yet we cut them down.
And some people still wonder

     Why some people are afraid

           When told they are loved. 

        ~Harshu

                   ( but certainly a poem soon) xx

.Mood.

Mirror:            What kind of mood are you in ? 

   Harshu:          No mood, just tired is all ..

Mirror:            No getting enough sleep ? 

    Harshu:           I sleep all the time .

Mirror:            Yet you’re still tired ? 

        Harshu:          ………Yeah

~My story 

-.-

   
 
      

                          “I realised you don’t end up with the guy of your dream,
You end up with the man that God had dreamed for you.”

                            #Confused